Confessions

How do you make yourself forget pain? Is it even possible to erase such a memory? The pain of your own heart breaking into a million pieces. Even if the heart is all glued back together can you forget how much it hurts when it eventually breaks? Cause it does, every time. You fall, for a boy or a girl. You get those fluttering creatures called butterflies in your stomach and you blush, every time he or she looks at you and smiles. Usually a smile you can’t help but to smile back at. One of those dorky, oh god your all I bloody think about smiles. You start of slow, you fall one step at a time, give your heart to this person, with the hope that they’ll keep it as safe as you’re keeping theirs. If they even go as far as to give it to you. You start falling faster and harder, with your eyes closed, hoping that they’ll catch you before you hit the ground. Just as you would catch them if they ever fell. If they ever fell, cause to be honest you have no idea if their falling. They can tell you that they are, but words are only words and action always speaks louder. And their actions aren’t always that clear, more like up and down, and fussy and extremely hard to predict or even begin to understand. You try and tell your heart not to feel, because you’re getting scared. Scared of feeling the way you’ve felt before. But your heart doesn’t listen; your heart is sitting there in your chest with headphones on and playing your song on repeat. Now you’re in love, head over heels in love with this girl or boy and you’re screwed. So freaking screwed, because now your head cant make any decisions for you, your head lost the battle against your heart. Empty promises, lies and cheating pushes all good things away and the person is now playing darts with your heart, using it as the board. Every single time, it’s never wrong. Never. So how do you forget? If its happened a trillion times, how do you make your head forget the pain your heart put you through. How do you make your head get back into the ring with your heart only to get its ass kicked and then after a while stand there having to glue the heart back together because the heart took on a much tougher competitor. And lost...